Jimmy Kimmel returned to Jimmy Kimmel Live on September 2 after a two-month summer break and wasted no time addressing U.S. President Donald Trump’s July Truth Social post that said Kimmel is “next to go.”
In a pointed monologue, Kimmel mocked Trump, calling him a “delicate, chubby little teacup,” and commented on his deteriorating health, and Trump’s death rumors.
Highlights
- Jimmy Kimmel mocked Trump as a “delicate, chubby little teacup” in response to Trump’s threat to cancel him and other late-night hosts.
- Kimmel ridiculed rumors about Trump’s death, calling him like Dracula who will keep sucking the life out of America forever.
- He disapproved of CBS canceling Stephen Colbert’s show, suggesting it was done to appease Trump and secure FCC merger approval.
Trump, 79, has repeatedly targeted late-night hosts this summer, celebrating CBS’s cancellation of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert in July and warning that Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon could be next.
Jimmy Kimmel fired at Donald Trump in a monologue, saying: ‘He’s going to keep sucking the life out of us forever’
Image credits: Robin L Marshall/Getty Images
On Truth Social, Trump wrote, “The word is, and it’s a strong word at that, Jimmy Kimmel is NEXT to go in the untalented Late Night Sweepstakes and, shortly thereafter, Fallon will be gone… It’s really good to see them go, and I hope I played a major part in it!”
Kimmel responded to these threats, saying, “Oh, you delicate, chubby little teacup. Did we hurt your feelings?”
“You want us to be canceled because we make jokes about you?” he continued. “I thought you were against cancel culture? I thought that was, like, their whole thing? When did you become so woke?”
During the monologue, Kimmel also targeted viral rumors over Labor Day weekend that Trump had died.
“Trump said he’s in great health, he’s never felt better. Despite the fact that he looks like a pumpkin that looks like it got left in the hatchback on a 100-degree day, he is definitely not dead.”
“Donald Trump will never die. Forget it! He’s like Dracula,” Kimmel added. “He’s going to keep sucking the life out of us forever.”
Then Kimmel moved on to Trump’s summer antics that were each “crazier than the next.”
“You can't turn him off. He won’t power down,” Kimmel said, before pulling out a list.
Image credits: Jimmy Kimmel Live/YouTube
The list consisted of moves Trump made over the past two months, including paving over the Rose Garden, planning a UFC fight at the White House, traveling to Alaska “to bend over for Putin,” and even petitioning Indian and Norwegian leaders to help him secure a Nobel Peace Prize.
He also mentioned Trump cutting the funding for pediatric brain cancer research, calling Trump himself a person having “the brain of a child.”
Kimmel spoke about the viral online rumor that Trump had died over Labor Day weekend, and zoomed in on a video of Vice President J.D. Vance grinning.
“Good old JD,” Kimmel said. “He hears the words ‘Trump dead,’ he lights up like a Christmas tree.”
A video of JD Vance grinning behind Trump went viral
Kimmel also joked about the president’s “big fat elephant ankles” and bruised hand that have received attention and concern on social media. He called the covering up of these marks with makeup “even sloppier than the Epstein one.”
Kimmel also criticized CBS for canceling Colbert’s show. He suggested the network acted to appease Trump and secure Federal Communications Commission approval for Paramount’s merger with Skydance Media.
“CBS, all of a sudden out of the blue, claimed ‘The Late Show’ was losing $40 million a year and then miraculously got FCC approval to sell their company, which is what they wanted,” he said during his monologue.
CBS has maintained the cancellation was “purely” financial and “not related in any way to the show’s performance, content or other matters happening at Paramount.”
Kimmel ended his monologue, telling Trump, or as he called him, “Frosty the Snowflake,” that he had no plans to leave late-night.
He even announced his plans to take the show on the road to New York, where he will also feature Colbert.
Kimmel also acknowledged the controversy about getting Italian citizenship. He had first spoken about it on The Sarah Silverman Podcast as the pair were discussing Trump’s crackdown on birthright citizenship.
He then played a montage of right-leaning news channels discussing Kimmel’s Italian citizenship before saying, “Just to be clear, I’m not moving to Italy. I never said that.”
“This is where I live. This is my country. I have no intention of running away from it. Especially because of Donald Trump,” he added.
He then joked about moving to Mar-a-Lago, Trump’s resort in Florida, just to “drive him insane.”
Several celebrities — including Rosie O’Donnell, Ellen DeGeneres, Eva Longoria, Sophie Turner, and America Ferrera — have either relocated abroad or considered doing so, citing political and social issues in the U.S.
Image credits: The White House/Flickr
In recent months, Trump has escalated his war on the media and comedians, through lawsuits, funding cuts, and executive orders aimed squarely at outlets he deems to be “radical left monsters.”
Kimmel’s commentary on Trump comes as the president continues to create viral moments, including a press conference after rumors about his health circulated over Labor Day weekend.
During the event, Trump claimed a video of black garbage bags being thrown out of a White House window was “probably AI-generated,” adding, ironically, “If something happens really bad, just blame AI.”